So, this is where i am at - a bit better of a place than i have been the last couple of weeks - something seems to have lifted a little bit, the same feelings are there but they are not in my head 24/7.

I have managed to sleep a little better, still only getting 3 hours but you know, i'm happy with that, 3 hours is better than none at all or not even bothering to try and sleep.

I have taken a couple of days holiday from work to tag on to the end of my sick line - my manager was cool with that, so i have the weekend to keep moving forward.

I showered this morning - no big deal? it is after the last couple of weeks!!

Normally i dont have any problem with showering, i'm not a bath person at all. i shower every morning even on crap days and its always okay - so its been different this time. My T said that its okay, its just a temporary thing while this bit passes and i have to do what ever it is i need to do to make things even fractionally better for me, and if that means not showering then so be it - good job i haven't seen anyone!

I have 3 goals today. 1 was to shower, YAY! 2 is to go to the corner shop and get some groceries in - nothing major but just things like milk - i havent done that yet but its next! And 3 is to get some laundry done.
Might seems like its all normal, and it is, i would normally do these every day and not even know you've done them, but i need to recognise that this has been a bad one for me, and i cant compare anything to anything, all i can do is what i can do right now and make steps forward. A week ago i didn't plan on being here, not that i planned not to but i've had some close calls in the last couple of weeks, so the fact that i am here, and i'm now clean! Is a good start.

1 day at a time, no plans for tomorrow, we will see about tomorrow when it gets here, but for now, i've got today to work on.